We met with Adam's consultant on Friday afternoon to discuss his high-dose treatment starting next week, and also get the results of his latest MIBG scans. No change. Same disease profile. Stable. Which came as no surprise to me at all. The clear indication is that the MIBG therapy that Adam underwent in October and again in January has done nothing to move us any further forward. We cannot say so conclusively yet as it's still only three weeks since the administration of the 2nd therapeutic dose of radiation, but it's the most likely outcome.
And so it continues. And you get closer to the point where you believe nothing is going to shift it. We haven't given up by any means, but the longer time goes on the more your mind starts to think about the possibility that this is something we might have to live with long term. Is that such a bad outcome? Compared to the majority of children with this disease it certainly is not. But it's not a cure. It cannot continue indefinitely nor conclude with a happy ending. Then again maybe long term would be long enough for something else to come along, something to give families like ours renewed hope. Although in the world of paediatric oncology it would have to be very long term for that to be the case, unless there are some pretty dramatic changes over the next few years.
I'll stop now. I'm getting way ahead of myself. Everything remains as uncertain as it ever has. It's just of all the things that run through my mind each day, every day, these thoughts start to crop up more and more often.
Of course none of us can predict the future, all we can do is get on with living in the present. High-dose starts on Sunday. The next phase in this journey we've been thrust into.